


Ugly

by Mariah123



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:36:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariah123/pseuds/Mariah123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm losing my fucking mind"</p><p>Neymar is losing his mind and he finds that a certain Portuguese Real Madrid player can help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ugly

Neymar Jr always considered himself ugly, when girls came up to him and asked him for his autograph and compliment him, he just laughs it off because a person like him can never ever be beautiful.

Neymars family is religious so he was religious and I'm his religion harming yourself was a sin, the biggest sin. When Neymar finds himself taking a knife to his wrist and just letting the blood flow over his hands he grimaces, he's made himself more ugly, scarred. No one can love ugly like him and now he's scarred as well.

Sometimes, after matches when he hurts someone or when someone hurts him, he immediatly rushes to the shower stalls and showers, his fingernails rub against his skin hoping to wipe the dirt away, the ugly away, he never succeeds. He's ugly and it will never leave him.

"Egostical bastard" Neymar looks up used to all these insults but when he sees the person who said it, his eyes water because he sees the hard and unknown eyes of Lionel Messi, he doesn't recognise Leo anymore, because Leo isn't himself anymore, Leo isn't the person Neymar fell in love with. Neymar sees all his teammates looking at him with sympathy but they don't do anything, they know Leo's more powerful and it's at that very moment Neymar realises his team isn't really his anymore and he doesn't understand how everything changed so much. He feels ugly maybe that's the reason Leo started to hate him.

"Why?" Asks Leo as he sees Neymars scarred and bloody wrists, his eyes now filled with guilt and unshed tears. Neymar just stares at the Argentinean player and smiles, now he understands what Neymar went through but as Neymar continues to stare at Leo as he pleads for forgiveness, he realises he doesn't get the butterflies anymore, he's not in love anymore, he's not naive enough to fall in love in this cruel world. That day Neymar lost the person he loved and that day Leo Messi lost his best friend. That day Neymar felt the most ugliest.

Real Madrid. Neymar signed the transfer papers, he's officially a part of Real Madrid, he's left Barcelona but as the white jersey adorns his chest, he suddenly feels tears building in his eyes, but he immediatly wipes his eyes with his arm, he's not weak, not now not ever. Wearing the enemy's crest suddenly makes him feel ugly, he wants to go home and scratch on his skin, to stop the dirty, to remove the ugly.

When Neymar first meets the team he winced they're not like him, they joke around, they pull each others legs and most important, they're pretty, they're beautiful and Neymar isn't and so when Sergio Ramos the captain greets him with a handshake, he ignores it and walks away, he's not worthy of shaking such a pretty persons hand.

After that, they talk about him behind his back but he always knows what they're saying, they say he has a massive ego, they say exactly what Messi said and Neymar suddenly feels like crying because he didn't want to be reminded about him.

Drip. Drip. The blood drips beautifully and hauntingly onto the floor as Neymars sharp blade pierces his skin. He stares at the blood with bloodshot red eyes, he's made himself even more uglier, Neymar hadn't thought that was possible, he was after all the most ugliest.

"Are you okay" rings across the locker rooms as Neymar almost exits, Neymar sighs and turns around "yes" Cristiano Ronaldo looks at him making him feel uncomfortable and Neymar flinches as he takes huge steps to reach him. Cristiano grabs his arm and pushes his sleeves up to reveal his mutilated skin, Ronaldo looks at him with something akin to pity and Neymar doesn't like it.

"No" he says, almost as if he's lost his mind "No" he repeats as he sees Ronaldo walks closer to him "No" he screams as he let's out a wail and runs away wiping his tears.

"I'm losing my fucking mind" says Neymar as his red eyes stare into Ronaldo's pretty and beautiful eyes, standing in front of this Greek god makes him feel even more ugly.

Cristiano nods at Neymar, he grabs the young Brazilian player by his shirt and hugs him, Neymar tenses not expecting the hug but ultimately return the hug and immediatly feels relief, like as if Ronaldo was his antidote.

That night Ronaldo sits with Neymar and talks to him, tells him, how beautiful his eyes are, how pretty his hair is, how adorable his face is and how smooth and mellow his voice is, Neymar doesn't believe him and he still sees the ugly as he looks into the mirror.

Fans roar as the Real Madrid team enter the stadium, they scream for Neymar, they've accepted him and Neymar doesn't know how, he's so ugly.

Neymar runs across the pitch trying to get the ball, trying to score, trying to prove he isn't useless. All his attempts are futile during the first half of the game and during the Second half the ball isn't anywhere close to him, Neymar who is standing near the goal suddenly feels defeated and ugly as he sees Ronaldo steady the ball and about to shoot, but instead to his surprise Ronaldo passes to him and Neymar smiles, and his eyes water. As Neymar stands in front of the goal, he takes the shot and closes his eyes, he knows he's messed up, but the cheers of "Hala Madrid" tell him differently when he opens his eyes he realises he's done it, he's scored the winning goal for his first ever match for Real Madrid.

Neymar ignores everyone's advances as they reach to hug him, his eyes only search for one person, he runs towards Ronaldo and a sob escapes his mouth as he wraps his arm around the older footballer, everyone around then scoff and they see the "egoistical brat" sob. They don't know the true reason the deep reason but both Cristiano and Neymar know, so as Neymar wails into Cristiano's chest, he feels beautifull for the first time in months.

 


End file.
